taking a toll on me...

Stress is taking a huge toll on me. Stress, just plain stress. From every point it could possibly come from, it's coming at me. I can physically feel it in my body. As hard as I try to let it just roll off my back I feel like my brain is wired to continue to stress. I am fighting with myself daily trying to make the right decisions for my family. My heart and mind are fighting, my heart tells me one thing- and my mind another. 


I find most days while as I'm putting Little Man's dinner on the table that I have not ate at all that day. I just forget to do it. 


I hear people say, don't worry about tomorrow focus on today. Why can't I do this? These are words I TRY to live by. I don't want to constantly worry. But how can I not?


I want to go on vacation so badly with my family- to just get away for a couple of days. Have no worries. But the reality is that it's not going to happen. Then I feel guilty for being upset that we can't get away for a few days. People are struggling just to live and I am upset about not being able to take a vacation. Back to the stress. Am I not a good person? 


It's getting harder to enjoy the moment. Because I'm focusing on the next. This is not how I want to be. This is NOT how I want my son to grow up. 


Just had to get that out. 

Stuff and more stuff about stuff.

I've been neglecting this blog. Big time. I am not sure why. I have tons to say, tons on my mind but some things I just don't know how to put into words. Other things I chose to keep private and some things I fear will be taken the wrong way. I've got to learn to get past the fear of how my thoughts and feelings will be perceived by my family and friends. Soon I hope to be able to do just that with this blog. Use it as an outlet to get things off my chest.


On another note, a late note we had a fun Valentine's day around here. Little Man was so happy to get a couple of new matchbox planes in his goody bag along with some cookies and a DVD. We had some fun with streamer that I had left over from some failed craft projects. It kept him busy for quite a while.

We decorated the windows in our dinning room with some wax hearts that were inspired by Pinterest.

and we decorated cookies.

I also decided to turn one of the walls in our kitchen into an art display for Little Man. I've been finding art canvas' on sale like crazy here lately and get them as often as I can. I'll give Little Man the canvas, some cotton balls or toy cars to paint with. I've even cut an apple in half and let him use that as a stamp. He loves to paint, and I love to watch him.

I even had a little fun with the paint too!

I do hope it wont be another month before I update again. But until then...

hugs from me and Little Man

Growing up...

My Little Man is growing up so fast. Too fast. We toured a pre-school last week. Being the terrible Mom that I am, I secretly wished he would hate it... to give me another reason to wait to enroll him. But no, he settled right in and loved it.


Why must you keep getting older and more independent sweet Little Man? 


When he get's a boo-boo the hugs to make him feel better don't last as long. 3 seconds after holding him he says "CJ okay" and wiggles to get down. I guess I should rejoice in the fact that I have a growing healthy little boy, but I miss the days when he would stay curled up in my arms for an hour just because he wanted to.


But at the same time I'm enjoying the new things every day. Listening to him sing along to songs in the car. Point out different animals as he spots them, and his need to help do laundry. Then there is the constant changing of his mind. He wants the night light on... no he want's it off. No it has to be on. Turn it off now!!! I know this is just a stage, as annoying as it is in the moment of his indecisiveness I think back on the 40 minute debacle sometimes and laugh. Sometimes.


This growing up stuff is going by fast. I haven't done the best job with keeping up with CJ's journal I've kept since before he was born. Things happen so fast and at the end of the day it slips my mind to note something funny he did, or said. 


I guess I just wish there was a pause button in life, or rewind. I think all parents have this wish. At the same time, I can bet I'm not the only one who wishes for a fast forward for the tantrums though...

First post of 2012

Wow, it's so weird to say 2012. My oh my how time flies. I haven't updated in a while, Christmas time usually keeps my little family busy with fun and memories to be made. 


Little Man was introduced to Nokie the Elf this year. He had so much fun running around in the mornings trying to find out what he was up to. Unfortunately a cold hit the house pretty bad right before Christmas so Nokie didn't get to enjoy as many adventures as he would have liked. We did get some pictures of the ones he did achieve though. 

Fishing for gold fish... 

Roasting marshmallows

And being attacked my dinosaurs and sabers. Now, while this may look terrible, and that it would scare the heck out of a toddler... Little Man got a kick out if it.

And on Christmas morning CJ found this note Nokie had left...

We've also had our share of desserts around the house the last month. 

We've been painting presents to give to grandparents. 

And enjoying presents Santa left!

I've also been getting to know me a little better too. As a parent it can be easy to loose yourself when you are busy taking care of others and putting your own needs to the side. I've been spending time with friends and family and my husband. I'm finding that healthy balance between being a Mom and a woman, friend, daughter and wife. It isn't easy. It's hard to feel like your not being selfish when you want time to yourself when there are so many things to do. But I'm working through that!

Me and my Hubby

I have a feeling that 2012 is going to bring a lot of big things for my little family. We will as always roll with the punches and enjoy every moment together, and with family and friends. I hope that you do the same!

The adventures of Nokie the Elf... including Nokie's night off

The adventures of Nokie the elf continue!

So we were beginning to think Nokie had calmed down a bit, we've found him doing puzzles and coloring...

One morning he was hanging upside down from the curtain rod.

And then Little Man went to stay with my parents for the night while I hosted a Mommies Night In party. It so happens Nokie enjoys his nights off...

Needless to say, after his wild night he tucked himself into a stocking for the day.

But the next day he was back to work. Nokie spotted CJ doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing from that stocking, and left Little Man a little note about it.

Quick treats for Holiday parties!

This past Friday evening I held a Mommies Night In for a local group of moms. I found some inspiring menu ideas on Pinterest and got to work. 

These hummus filled cucumber cups were so easy. I purchased a couple of English cucumbers and randomly peeled the skin off in places. Then I used a decorative slicer I've had for years to cut the cucumber (as you can see, they are not uniformed sizes). I then used a small melon baller to scoop out the middle, leaving a small amount in the bottom of the cucumber. I put some roasted red pepper hummus into a zip-lock bag, snipped off one of the ends and squeezed out the hummus into the cucumber cups. These cups would also be good with chicken salad, spinach dip or even cream cheese- the possibilities are endless!


Pinterest also inspired these easy holiday desserts. 

These marshmallow snowmen were super easy to make. I just skewered 3 marshmallows onto a cake pop stick and stuck a rollo candy on top to make a hat. Using cake decorating gels I embellished the snowmen with eyes, noses,  buttons, mouths and arms. One had a scarf. This would be a great no bake dessert the kids could help with as well. 

The reindeer were easy too. I just skewered 1 marshmallow onto a stick and dipped in melted chocolate candy melts and (attempted) to tap off the excess. I let them harden in the fridge for a while then pulled them out to decorate the faces with the gel. I used pretzels for antlers (this was tricky, some of them fell out of the marshmallow- I should have put the pretzels on before the chocolate hardened). 

To display the yummy goodies I used some floral foam blocks from the dollar store, wrapped them in wrapping paper and then stuck the sticks into the blocks. Really cute display, and really cheap too!

Some of the reindeer's eyes became a little droopy after a while, I would suggest putting the decorated deer back in the fridge for a while before serving!

I love cooking, baking and spending time in the kitchen this time of year. All the parties and planning mean I'm going to spend time with family and friends! So if you are hosting a party soon do some research on quick and easy dishes and desserts to save yourself some time, or look for kid friendly recipes you and your Little One's can do together. 

This is what Christmas is to me. Being with the ones I care about most!

The adventures of Nokie the Elf, continued

The adventures of Nokie the Elf continue in our home. I knew this little Elf had a bit of a mischief up his sleeve. He's been up to a lot over the last few days... 

One morning he was chillin' out with Woody and Buzz in front of the fire. 

When Little Man gets up every morning we ask him "Where is Nokie?" and he takes off looking for him. Same thing each time he spots him, he stops dead in his tracks and stares- then laughs and removes all other toys from the scene. 

Then we found him zip-lining with a candy cane through our kitchen!

He also went joyriding on a train in our living room... along with a few friends.

He's been reading Christmas books to all CJ's buddies.

And was also seen plowing snow for Little Man's car and little people! What a helpful little Elf!

Oh my! It's snowing in my living room!

The adventures of Nokie the Elf

We recently received a visitor from the North Pole. An Elf, named Nokie (pronounced No-key). He was sent by Santa to keep an eye on Little Man to make sure he's on his best behavior in the days leading up to Christmas. Every night he will fly back to North Pole to give his report and reappear the next morning.  


So far he's just been hanging around our fireplace with the snowmen and penguins, and today he was hanging above the dinning room table from our light. I get the slight feeling that this little Elf has a mischievous side... I can't wait to see what kind of trouble he gets into around here! 

I'm going to update every few days on Nokie's antics, so check back often!